Most people make it WAY too easy to experience the debilitating, disempowering feelings of failure.And at the same time, most people make it way too difficult to experience the wonderful feelings of success.Youth or adult, the concept I am about to share with you has to power to drastically change your entire quality of life. No exaggeration.Here are some common rules people UNKNOWINGLY choose for experiencing failure (this is someone who is often frustrated, never satisfied, full of fear, avoids taking risks at all costs, plays it safe, never reaches his or her full potential):
- Someone implies that I am not good enough
- Someone implies that I did not do it perfectly
- I don’t get picked for the promotion
- I get picked last on the team
- I don't make the team
- I get pulled out of a game
- I miss a few shots
- Someone gives me a dirty look
- I get broken up with
- I get a bad grade or two on a test
MAN!That is just sad. I know it feels awful to have that set of rules because they used to be mine. A set of rules I never consciously chose, but ended up adopting.All it would take was someone not accepting me, me doing something I shouldn't have, messing up, or making a mistake and I would feel those all too familiar, soul crushing feelings of failure.I changed my rules.Today, this is what it takes for me to feel the feelings of failure:
- Deliberately throwing in the towel and giving up on something I should keep pursuing simply because it is inconvenient or painful for me
- Doing something that is directly opposed to my values and the way I identify myself
That's it. If I do one of those two things above, I deservedly allow myself to feel the harsh feeling of failure.What about experiencing the wonderful feeling of success? It no longer takes a massive accomplishment, external reward, or another person noticing my efforts to cause me to feel the empowering feeling of success.My new rules for success are:- Making progress- Taking a risk- Helping another person, seeing them make progressYou do not get to choose the rules for sports, school, work, or the law. However, in this game of life, you DO get to choose your own rules for what it takes to feel the feelings you feel. Have you ever chose?Have you been using old, subconscious rules that someone else chose for you?If so, today is time to take back control and rewrite your own rules!Dedicated to your success,
Coach Andrew and the PFP Team
