Do you actually enjoy just watching your kids play?
This will be challenging for many parents to read, but I know there is transformational power in this article.
You are not answering to me here. This is a golden opportunity for you to look within and have a true and honest conversation with yourself.
“Do I really enjoy just getting to sit and watch my kid play sports, or am I so wrapped up in the outcomes and emotions that I only genuinely enjoy seeing them win, succeed, be the star, etc.?
Every now and then we enroll Jack in something like “youth soccer”. He’s only 3 but we do it to make memories and let him run out some of that crazy energy.
It saddens me as I watch parents lose out on being able to enjoy the moments because they are so focused on the outcomes. “My 3 year old is GOING to learn how to dribble this ball correctly even if it’s the last thing he does!” (Be careful, with that type of approach he may quit before age 5.)
It’s not you, it’s the crazy societal pressure that has gotten in you. You can get it out and rekindle the joy and passion again.
I know what you feel deep down. I know what you want to be able to say is true.
But there is a high, high likelihood that your true values as a parent have been covered and smothered by the pressure to conform.
Have you fallen into the youth sports trap that is robbing you from the parent experience you could and should be having?
Are you currently unable to sit back with calmness and joy, watch your child play the game they love, and say to yourself “Man, I just love watching Sarah play.”
A few key thoughts:
Unconditional Joy. As a parent, you deserve to experience the joy of watching your kid play, grow, and develop, even if that means losing, falling short, messing up, having a string of bad plays or games, etc.
Your emotions and energy WILL transfer. Your child will feel this as you begin to do some work on yourself and your own expectations. They will start to play lighter, less tense, and ultimately they will perform better (it always happens this way).
Commit to reclaiming the moments. Be present. Make a commitment to yourself, your spouse, and your kids that you won’t miss another moment, emotionally. You may be physically present at their game or practice, but are you present enough emotionally?
This morning, would you be able to journal your gratitudes from the games past weekend?
In that moment when your kid slipped and threw a terrible pass, did you experience compassion and a bit of a light-hearted smile, or did you get angry about it?
Be different, your friends and everyone around you NEEDS you to be different. Could you look at the other dads today and say, “Guys, what the heck are we doing here? It’s 10 year old soccer. I don’t know about you, but I am going to trade my expectations for appreciation and begin cherishing the moments. I am going to start to love watching my kid play again.”
Remember that sustained peak performance is the result of starting with the right perspective.
Lead, be different, be the LIGHT in the dark and stressed out youth sports world.
Choose unconditional joy. Choose love. Choose gratitude.
Choose to love watching your kids be kids today.
Dedicated to restoring teams and family with joy,
Coach Andrew
