I’m reading this book called Everything You Need, by David Jeremiah.
ANGER. This chapter is wrecking me. Listen to this…
“Like you, I sometimes battle discouragement, worry, and other emotions common to us all. But nothing can do more harm more quickly than anger. One moment of rage can wreck a multitude of lives. One rash word can ruin a friendship. One outburst can begin a life cycle of its own and create problems for decades to come.”
I am great at controlling my anger...when I’m not angry. When life is good, when I am not stressed (or hungry), when everyone is nice to me, agreeing with me, living up to my expectations, I’m good then!
But maybe, like you, like your children, the minute people question us, disagree with us, wrong us, fail to live up to our cruel expectations of them, we get angry, at least a little bit.
After reading this chapter and learning about the following story, I am taking my own anger a bit more seriously and am realizing 99.9% of people are not actively working on anger-control and doing it in a healthy way...
A Young Man’s Anger
A student-athlete came to PFP 2 years ago on a scholarship. Amazing young man with a bright future who grew up with his share of challenging circumstances. I cannot report the extent of his challenges growing up, but I do know that he faced adversity at a young age. He had a degree of pent up anger you could always tell he worked hard to suppress...
Two weeks ago he put both of his parents in the hospital in critical condition due to a moment of rage that he cannot take back. Both parents almost died, are still in serious condition, and he is now in jail for a long time. Two weeks ago he had a shot at becoming a professional baseball player, now he is behind bars. He has a great heart, but uncontrolled anger, not dealt with the right way, has ruined a least a big part of his life and has wrecked his his entire family. Please pray for his parents, sister, and him.
So Many People Are Angry
The book I am reading shares a story about a woman named Annie who speaks and presents to women, helping them with their personal lives and home lives. She has them all fill out questionnaires at the event. Steve, Annie’s husband, got a little glimpse into the lives of the women Annie works with.
“Little did I know the levels of pain that had been inscribed on those pieces of paper,” Steve wrote. The ladies I had seen at that conference appeared so affable and good-natured on the outside. But after hearing Annie read with tears their anonymous cries regarding the anger that filled their souls, I wondered how so many of them could carry such pain in their hearts. It was an eye-opener for me.”
You have anger. So do I. Your kids have anger. The question is, as the leaders, what will we do about ours?
“Throw things”
“Cold shoulder”
“Yell and walk away”
“Yell at our five-year-old”
“Be silent and bandaid it by working out harder, working harder”
Or, we can talk about it. Journal about it. Share our flaws with the people we love, and work on it together and with God.
Answer these questions like I did this morning:
- When was the last time I was angry?
- How did I express that anger?
- Why is that my default response? Pride? Learned by parents? Stress and overload with work?
- How would the kindest, most confident version of me respond?
Uncontrolled anger will lead to something bad. If your kids are going through adversity (which all of them are, internally or externally) they need to shift their focus to this topic.
They need to pay anger the attention it needs now so it does not get the best of them later.
Trust me. If you wait until just the wrong moment, the perfect storm will come and you too may say something or do something that you can’t take back and could wreck a relationship. Or worse, it will be your kids, and their lives could be altered forever.
Take action today. Talk about the concept of Anger at dinner tonight. Send this article to your family or team. Self-control, kindness, and love are the answer, but will take daily action to become habits.
Serving you,
Coach Andrew
